PSYCHOSIS/DELUSION issue...... PLEASE for anyone familiar w/ this... I really badly need you:'[?

It sounds to me like you are incredibly stressed out. Stress makes your mind go a mile a minute, and from your description and typing, I can tell your mind is going too fast for you to catch up. I would try to find some ways to relieve all that stress if I were you. Ways that do not harm anyone, including yourself. If you don't work out, you should start. It is a great way to relieve stress and after a workout, I feel like I have accomplished something and I have no problems sleeping. Think of your body and mind as an energetic dog. That dog needs to run off some of its energy. If it is stuck inside a cage all day and night, the energy just keeps building up. If your stress keeps building up, it will eventually just explode and that is never good. I find that yoga is very relaxing and it is a great way to just clear your mind so that you can begin to sort out your problems. Also, if you start taking care of your body, your body will take care of you. Once you start building up your work out routine, your self-esteem will grow and you will feel great about yourself. I hope this helped!